Im having silly days lately. Im happy. I have ONE short-term goal and that is to pass anatomy exam this semester. I am scared of saying it out loud, no real reason. I found that studying is actually very enjoyable if stress isnt involved.
I am teaching English as a second language to two children, a 14-year-old girl and a 8-year-old boy. I go to peoples homes to give these kids a lesson. I went to teach the boy today and found myself wanting to escape as soon as possible. No lesson was held this evening. His mother told me her son was sick when she opened the door and left me, facing the door from the outside, wondering if that meant the lesson was cancelled. She hurried off, hysterically shouting at the phone in her hand, and hid in other corners of her apartment where I couldnt see her. From her yells, sometimes interrupted by, what must have been, the person on the other end speaking, I gathered that she expected him to install her new TV but he failed to do so. Anyway, Im not going to tell the whole story, just say that it was awkward and I ran away after attempting to start the lesson, help with the TV, and calm her down, failing similarly to the poor young lad from UPC.
Except this deppressive experience I had a really good day. I studied since I woke up until 3pm, with a short break to talk to a good friend after half a year, then ran to catch the bus (as I always do) to teach some English...
Thursday, 5 November 2009
Friday, 2 October 2009
Bribe
I recently got to know a woman who works at a university as a teacher in Bratislava. We talked about many things and one of them was bribe. It is still very normal in Slovakia to bribe people especially in government run offices and institutions. One reason is that people who work for the government (in schools, hospitals, police etc.) get paid very little. The pay is for sure not enough to live off. Another reason is that the laws are written in such a way that to get some things done is so complicated that even the people who are supposed to follow them (like police) are reluctant to do so and many times advise people to break laws and eagerly offer their help for something in exchange.
The field I am interested in is, of course, hospitals and doctors. Doctors get bribed often. If you dont bribe them you could be waiting for your operation so long that it wouldnt help you in the end. Or they would go for the easiest option of making the operation which would have consequences for your body and future living.
The woman I met told me about her friend who is a surgeon. His opinion goes something like this: When he was young he didnt want to accept bribes but soon realized the pressure of his job. He had to use public transport, full buses, to get to work. At work he had operation after operation and he had to stay calm to do that well. Then he thought "I need a car. I cannot use buses to work anymore. It drives me crazy." But - big problem. "How will I afford a car with this shitty pay?" That is impossible. "I shall have to accept bribes. There is no other way."
The woman also told me she never wanted to accept bribes neither. But her collegues or boss did and since she didnt want to lose her job she had to close her eyes once in a while.
Voice of typical Slovak:
"But this cannot be changed."
"Thats life!"
"We´ll see..."
"There is nothing you can do."
Mejfazu means in some tribal language "Nothing can be done." And I chose it as my nick to always remember that this is what hopeless people say. I want to fight. I want to do things as I want. I am not going to allow any situation make me forget my moral standards. I used to argue with people and oppose when they said "Nothing can be done." I dont do it anymore because I understand that I havent been tried yet. And it can happen, I admit, that when I do get tested I will break. I hope not. I really from my deep heart hope it will never happen to me and I will always have the strength to go against the tide for whatever costs. Because that is how things can be changed.
The field I am interested in is, of course, hospitals and doctors. Doctors get bribed often. If you dont bribe them you could be waiting for your operation so long that it wouldnt help you in the end. Or they would go for the easiest option of making the operation which would have consequences for your body and future living.
The woman I met told me about her friend who is a surgeon. His opinion goes something like this: When he was young he didnt want to accept bribes but soon realized the pressure of his job. He had to use public transport, full buses, to get to work. At work he had operation after operation and he had to stay calm to do that well. Then he thought "I need a car. I cannot use buses to work anymore. It drives me crazy." But - big problem. "How will I afford a car with this shitty pay?" That is impossible. "I shall have to accept bribes. There is no other way."
The woman also told me she never wanted to accept bribes neither. But her collegues or boss did and since she didnt want to lose her job she had to close her eyes once in a while.
Voice of typical Slovak:
"But this cannot be changed."
"Thats life!"
"We´ll see..."
"There is nothing you can do."
Mejfazu means in some tribal language "Nothing can be done." And I chose it as my nick to always remember that this is what hopeless people say. I want to fight. I want to do things as I want. I am not going to allow any situation make me forget my moral standards. I used to argue with people and oppose when they said "Nothing can be done." I dont do it anymore because I understand that I havent been tried yet. And it can happen, I admit, that when I do get tested I will break. I hope not. I really from my deep heart hope it will never happen to me and I will always have the strength to go against the tide for whatever costs. Because that is how things can be changed.
Saturday, 26 September 2009
Trnava visit
I've been to Trnava today and it's been beautiful. Went with Daniel to meet Joseph and the Riapos', good friends who I hadn't seen for a long time. We walked around the whole centre and Joseph explained to us about the historical background of the city and some buildings. Even though it was very interesting, the thing that made me happiest, was sadly, theft (*inside joke* because stealth is not a word:). Yes, I have to confess to stealing old bones from an archeologic site beside a church. I am sure, though, that it was the best place to steal, since I am sure that Jesus was attending to his sheep inside and didn't look my way :)
I am also very excited about my new subjects at school. We are learning how to take blood so I am leaving classrooms with cuts in my veins and capillaries. Then we make all sorts of blood tests, so far I found only one deviation from normal and that is raised amount of leukocytes which is probably caused by my allergy.
I am also very excited about my new subjects at school. We are learning how to take blood so I am leaving classrooms with cuts in my veins and capillaries. Then we make all sorts of blood tests, so far I found only one deviation from normal and that is raised amount of leukocytes which is probably caused by my allergy.
Tuesday, 22 September 2009
Its been a long time since I wrote. I didnt have much time to write because I had too many things on: uni, boyfriend, Bahai activities. Thats it basically. These three were taking up all my time. Now its a bit different.
I passed all my exams although chemistry was very very tight. I was lucky. I passed chemistry on the very last exam day, 27th August, two days after coming back from Australia.
You can read something about my summer at gotlost-summer2009.blogspot.com
I really enjoyed it and came back refreshed with some new ideas how to organize my time this semester which has already started.
I had first physiology lesson and we were analysing leukocytes. We had to take our own blood for the sample which was fun. Our teacher was pacing throughout the whole seminar and we counted that he walked 630m. If we counted how many times he said "Ano" (yes) it would probably be also around that number...
Well, I will try to write more from now on. But need to get to studying now.
I passed all my exams although chemistry was very very tight. I was lucky. I passed chemistry on the very last exam day, 27th August, two days after coming back from Australia.
You can read something about my summer at gotlost-summer2009.blogspot.com
I really enjoyed it and came back refreshed with some new ideas how to organize my time this semester which has already started.
I had first physiology lesson and we were analysing leukocytes. We had to take our own blood for the sample which was fun. Our teacher was pacing throughout the whole seminar and we counted that he walked 630m. If we counted how many times he said "Ano" (yes) it would probably be also around that number...
Well, I will try to write more from now on. But need to get to studying now.
Monday, 5 January 2009
USA
This trip has been amazing so far. I keep meeting people everywhere I go. On many a trip I was very lonely having no one to travel with me but this time it is far from that. I travel from city to city and in each I feel as home, I meet new friends and soon they are known. Many times I felt as though I had met certain person but it wasn't so.
Let me tell you my story.
First of all I have to familiarize you with my big "plans" for this trip. I wanted to see Washington, New York and Chicago while I am in the USA. I knew the wedding date and I knew when Parisa is getting back from her honeymoon. So this traveling was to happen sometime between these two dates. I was counting on finding someone who is driving to one of these cities, or at least somewhere close. I was lucky and found someone to go with to Virginia. That set the order in which I would visit these cities: 1. Washington (closest to Virginia), 2. New York (closest to Washington), 3. Chicago (far from everything), 4. back to Atlanta. I booked the flights only on Wednesday 24. Dec and have managed to write down on bits of paper the confirmation numbers and dates for all the flights. But somehow forgot to write the times... I booked a bus to New York on Friday evening, only 2 days in advance. I was just too lazy to do it sooner. Too late I remembered I don't have anyone to stay with in Chicago so emailed a friend expecting the worst but he was able to arrange everything. (Who has more luck than me?:) I was supposed to stay with a friend's mother in New York for all three nights that I was there but ended up staying at different places every night. I strongly advice people to try at least once to go to a foreign country by themselves and with no plans and practice their patience, endurance, peace and trust in God...
So here it starts.
On Monday night (22nd Dec) I wrote to my journal: "I cannot believe what just happened. I am a little nervous about it. It will take a while to get used to the idea. Cara invited me first to drive with her to Virginia where her family lives. I have accepted as it is near to Washington D.C. where I was planning to go. Later she said I can stay with her overnight and take the train the next day. In Virginia we found out the tickets were too expensive from Virginia to Washington during Christmas time so she said I can stay with her until Saturday because she will drive to Fairfax near Washington where she lives and studies." In the end I did not only drive with her to Washington I also stayed two more nights in her beautiful apartment. Thank you, Cara!
"Today's eight hour journey was perfect, we talked a lot, we have a lot in common. Than we sang. She told me many stories about her year of service and we talked about everything possible."
Many things remind me of India on this trip. It sounds strange maybe because USA and India are very different. But a lover sees signs of his beloved in every land. When I got out of the airport the air was so humid and so warm in Atlanta, it reminded me of when I got out the Delhi airport in August. I wore saree in public for the first time since serving at the Lotus Temple. Cara's mum had a picture of Lotus Temple in her kitchen. We went together to Indian restaurant in Roanoke and then to a shop with clothes from India. In New York there were so many cars and people that it reminded of the two huge cities I have visited in my life - London and Delhi. There was a place in Central Park where I had to jump from stone to stone in order to avoid the mud and water as I did so many times on the streets of Delhi. We went to cinema with Cara once and as I was sitting down I realized that I haven't been to a movie since Singh is king in Delhi. I am also very peaceful because there are no responsibilities, I am plainly enjoying my life and meeting many young Baha'is all over USA. So many things, so many to remind me of August.
I think this was the best Christmas in my life. On the 25th we went hiking to Sharp Top with Cara. The day was beautiful, sky was clear and it wasn't too cold. There was no sign of Christmas in their house except some presents brought by their family and friends lying around. We practiced yoga with Cara, watched plenty movies, went shopping a lot.
On Saturday 27th I wrote: "Today we arrived to Fairfax where Cara goes to school. We lit some rose candlesticks and danced salsa. Her friend Philip came over, we talked for a long time and then decided to study FUNDAEC materials on teaching at 12.30 at night... Our brains just didn't work so it was fun." I didn't go to bed until 4am because I met a friend on facebook that night after a very long time.
On Sunday we went to see Washington with Cara, we've been to the Holocaust museum and walked around a little talking. In the evening we went to a devotional meeting at Kojo's house where I met Makini and found out she is on the same bus as me the next morning.
So on Monday we left Washington on a 9am bus to New York. I asked her about her year of service as I am very interested to hear people's stories. We arranged meeting for lunch the next day.
"This trip is in the spirit of the wedding and marriage. It began with the wedding of my best friend. Continued with long discussions with Cara in the car on the way to Virginia and later too. Then I met Makini and had lunch together with her brother and two friends and my friend who I met at the wedding Julia. Then we went around the city with Julia. In the evening I met again with Makini at her friend's Sara's house in Brooklyn. There was also Stephany and two more people whose names I don't remember. It was real fun that evening. We talked about marriage, partners, chastity and all kinds of things until 1am. I still cannot believe how much luck I have on this trip. How many beautiful people I am meeting. I am somewhere else every day and my plans are being changed frequently. I have no idea where I will be tomorrow and I love that feeling. All people are beautiful, immensely beautiful."
And on the plane to Chicago I wrote: "Makini invited me to her apartment for New Year's Eve. She lives in Newark near New York. Her family was having a Unity feast with a Kwanzaa celebration and a New Year's Eve party. Kwanzaa is an african-american celebration where each of the 7 days it lasts is dedicated to different aspect of the african-american community. There is mostly black people living in Newark and I was one of the two white people at the party. It was a strange feeling but it was by far the best New Year's Eve party I have every been to. I got used to it quickly, enjoyed the spirit, the food and the long conversation with Kafele, Makini's brother. I stayed with them for the night and left to the airport the next morning. The whole family is very funny and loving, they always laugh at something and it was apparent how happy they are to be together."
Only on the plane to Chicago I actually started thinking where I am going and who I am staying with and how to get there and realized I forgot to tell the person when exactly I will arrive and I failed to look at a map to find out how to get to her apartment. Too late. Ooops. I got used to not thinking about future much. Future meaning more than few hours.
"Visiting Wilmette:
I don't have, of course, so intense feelings about visiting this House of Worship as when I arrived to Delhi but still, my heart was beating very fast as I was approaching this magnificent edifice. The Temple stands on the shore of Lake Michigan so I went for a walk to the near-by park by the lake. The beach was frozen. This lake is so huge that it looks like an ocean and it also has a tide. I am not wearing tights and I can hardly feel my thighs and toes although I have two pairs of socks. It is freezing here. But I like it. I am starting to like winter again. I have a feeling I will not come back here anymore. Not deliberately, I just have a feeling. While when leaving India I knew I will return there and for much longer. I think I prayed for everything possible. How often does a person get to visit a House of Worship?"
That's it. Now I am back in Atlanta. I was expecting everything to settle down, no more traveling, just staying with Parisa and Daniel. But no, the trip is still not over. Due to my traveling mood that forbids any planning whatsoever I failed to arrange a pick-up from the airport as well as people to stay with. But I managed as I always do...with the help of friends who are more responsible than me. I am staying at Desiree and Kit's house and they are a wonderful couple. I feel like their baby... :)
I have some new projects, ideas:
1. I am learning Hindi.
2. I am going to get a cat.
3. I am going to write a book.
We will see how long I will remember these new goals.
ps: This post was published thanks to all the people with who the author stayed in the last two weeks, who fed her, who gave her directions and introduced her to more people. Thank you very much, Joana from Atlanta, Cara and family and cats from Roanoke, Dr. Kirilcuk from Roosevelt Island, Sara from Brooklyn, Makini and family from Newark, Chaley from Chicago and Des and Kit from Atlanta. I am alive thanks to you. :)
Let me tell you my story.
First of all I have to familiarize you with my big "plans" for this trip. I wanted to see Washington, New York and Chicago while I am in the USA. I knew the wedding date and I knew when Parisa is getting back from her honeymoon. So this traveling was to happen sometime between these two dates. I was counting on finding someone who is driving to one of these cities, or at least somewhere close. I was lucky and found someone to go with to Virginia. That set the order in which I would visit these cities: 1. Washington (closest to Virginia), 2. New York (closest to Washington), 3. Chicago (far from everything), 4. back to Atlanta. I booked the flights only on Wednesday 24. Dec and have managed to write down on bits of paper the confirmation numbers and dates for all the flights. But somehow forgot to write the times... I booked a bus to New York on Friday evening, only 2 days in advance. I was just too lazy to do it sooner. Too late I remembered I don't have anyone to stay with in Chicago so emailed a friend expecting the worst but he was able to arrange everything. (Who has more luck than me?:) I was supposed to stay with a friend's mother in New York for all three nights that I was there but ended up staying at different places every night. I strongly advice people to try at least once to go to a foreign country by themselves and with no plans and practice their patience, endurance, peace and trust in God...
So here it starts.
On Monday night (22nd Dec) I wrote to my journal: "I cannot believe what just happened. I am a little nervous about it. It will take a while to get used to the idea. Cara invited me first to drive with her to Virginia where her family lives. I have accepted as it is near to Washington D.C. where I was planning to go. Later she said I can stay with her overnight and take the train the next day. In Virginia we found out the tickets were too expensive from Virginia to Washington during Christmas time so she said I can stay with her until Saturday because she will drive to Fairfax near Washington where she lives and studies." In the end I did not only drive with her to Washington I also stayed two more nights in her beautiful apartment. Thank you, Cara!
"Today's eight hour journey was perfect, we talked a lot, we have a lot in common. Than we sang. She told me many stories about her year of service and we talked about everything possible."
Many things remind me of India on this trip. It sounds strange maybe because USA and India are very different. But a lover sees signs of his beloved in every land. When I got out of the airport the air was so humid and so warm in Atlanta, it reminded me of when I got out the Delhi airport in August. I wore saree in public for the first time since serving at the Lotus Temple. Cara's mum had a picture of Lotus Temple in her kitchen. We went together to Indian restaurant in Roanoke and then to a shop with clothes from India. In New York there were so many cars and people that it reminded of the two huge cities I have visited in my life - London and Delhi. There was a place in Central Park where I had to jump from stone to stone in order to avoid the mud and water as I did so many times on the streets of Delhi. We went to cinema with Cara once and as I was sitting down I realized that I haven't been to a movie since Singh is king in Delhi. I am also very peaceful because there are no responsibilities, I am plainly enjoying my life and meeting many young Baha'is all over USA. So many things, so many to remind me of August.
I think this was the best Christmas in my life. On the 25th we went hiking to Sharp Top with Cara. The day was beautiful, sky was clear and it wasn't too cold. There was no sign of Christmas in their house except some presents brought by their family and friends lying around. We practiced yoga with Cara, watched plenty movies, went shopping a lot.
On Saturday 27th I wrote: "Today we arrived to Fairfax where Cara goes to school. We lit some rose candlesticks and danced salsa. Her friend Philip came over, we talked for a long time and then decided to study FUNDAEC materials on teaching at 12.30 at night... Our brains just didn't work so it was fun." I didn't go to bed until 4am because I met a friend on facebook that night after a very long time.
On Sunday we went to see Washington with Cara, we've been to the Holocaust museum and walked around a little talking. In the evening we went to a devotional meeting at Kojo's house where I met Makini and found out she is on the same bus as me the next morning.
So on Monday we left Washington on a 9am bus to New York. I asked her about her year of service as I am very interested to hear people's stories. We arranged meeting for lunch the next day.
"This trip is in the spirit of the wedding and marriage. It began with the wedding of my best friend. Continued with long discussions with Cara in the car on the way to Virginia and later too. Then I met Makini and had lunch together with her brother and two friends and my friend who I met at the wedding Julia. Then we went around the city with Julia. In the evening I met again with Makini at her friend's Sara's house in Brooklyn. There was also Stephany and two more people whose names I don't remember. It was real fun that evening. We talked about marriage, partners, chastity and all kinds of things until 1am. I still cannot believe how much luck I have on this trip. How many beautiful people I am meeting. I am somewhere else every day and my plans are being changed frequently. I have no idea where I will be tomorrow and I love that feeling. All people are beautiful, immensely beautiful."
And on the plane to Chicago I wrote: "Makini invited me to her apartment for New Year's Eve. She lives in Newark near New York. Her family was having a Unity feast with a Kwanzaa celebration and a New Year's Eve party. Kwanzaa is an african-american celebration where each of the 7 days it lasts is dedicated to different aspect of the african-american community. There is mostly black people living in Newark and I was one of the two white people at the party. It was a strange feeling but it was by far the best New Year's Eve party I have every been to. I got used to it quickly, enjoyed the spirit, the food and the long conversation with Kafele, Makini's brother. I stayed with them for the night and left to the airport the next morning. The whole family is very funny and loving, they always laugh at something and it was apparent how happy they are to be together."
Only on the plane to Chicago I actually started thinking where I am going and who I am staying with and how to get there and realized I forgot to tell the person when exactly I will arrive and I failed to look at a map to find out how to get to her apartment. Too late. Ooops. I got used to not thinking about future much. Future meaning more than few hours.
"Visiting Wilmette:
I don't have, of course, so intense feelings about visiting this House of Worship as when I arrived to Delhi but still, my heart was beating very fast as I was approaching this magnificent edifice. The Temple stands on the shore of Lake Michigan so I went for a walk to the near-by park by the lake. The beach was frozen. This lake is so huge that it looks like an ocean and it also has a tide. I am not wearing tights and I can hardly feel my thighs and toes although I have two pairs of socks. It is freezing here. But I like it. I am starting to like winter again. I have a feeling I will not come back here anymore. Not deliberately, I just have a feeling. While when leaving India I knew I will return there and for much longer. I think I prayed for everything possible. How often does a person get to visit a House of Worship?"
That's it. Now I am back in Atlanta. I was expecting everything to settle down, no more traveling, just staying with Parisa and Daniel. But no, the trip is still not over. Due to my traveling mood that forbids any planning whatsoever I failed to arrange a pick-up from the airport as well as people to stay with. But I managed as I always do...with the help of friends who are more responsible than me. I am staying at Desiree and Kit's house and they are a wonderful couple. I feel like their baby... :)
I have some new projects, ideas:
1. I am learning Hindi.
2. I am going to get a cat.
3. I am going to write a book.
We will see how long I will remember these new goals.
ps: This post was published thanks to all the people with who the author stayed in the last two weeks, who fed her, who gave her directions and introduced her to more people. Thank you very much, Joana from Atlanta, Cara and family and cats from Roanoke, Dr. Kirilcuk from Roosevelt Island, Sara from Brooklyn, Makini and family from Newark, Chaley from Chicago and Des and Kit from Atlanta. I am alive thanks to you. :)
Wedding
Parisa's radiant spirit, goodly character and pure heart were responsible for me becoming a Baha'i only 2 years after I met her. I had just turned 13 and she was half a year younger. She left Slovakia where we went to school together a year later and although we have been in contact ever since there weren't many opportunities to spend time together.
This friendship, I feel it my duty to emphasize, is unique. This friendship doesn't depend on spending time, having fun nor showing love. It is a connection between two souls that will never be cut. Parisa is more than my sister, she is my soul's twin. Being with her I feel energized, purified and uplifted. I can see the future and all doubts cease.
And now Parisa got married to a person with no less illumined spirit, no less upright character and with heart filled with joy and love. Parisa and Daniel formed a union of which every person dreams. The earth had been shaken during their wedding. The words they uttered made every heart beat faster and every soul dance.
Daniel was looking at Parisa with such love and tenderness that every woman in the room wished to be her while her eyes showed loyalty, respect and trust which every wife should have. I saw the world being unified in front of me. I wish everyone on earth can find such peace, love and unity in their lives.
Unexpectedly and quietly tears burst into my eyes and I cried for no reason. I was wondering all this time what was it that made me cry. I don't know. The only thing I know is that last time it happened at my grandpa's funeral.
"Spolocne sa zaoberajte uslachtilymi tuzbami a vzletnymi predstavami. Nech medzi vami niet ziadnych tajomstiev. Svoj domov premente na pristav pokoja a odpocinku. Budte pohostinni a majte dvere domu otvorene tvaram priatelov a cudzincov. Privitajte kazdeho hosta so ziariacou laskavostou a nech kazdy citi, ze je to jeho vlastny domov."
This friendship, I feel it my duty to emphasize, is unique. This friendship doesn't depend on spending time, having fun nor showing love. It is a connection between two souls that will never be cut. Parisa is more than my sister, she is my soul's twin. Being with her I feel energized, purified and uplifted. I can see the future and all doubts cease.
And now Parisa got married to a person with no less illumined spirit, no less upright character and with heart filled with joy and love. Parisa and Daniel formed a union of which every person dreams. The earth had been shaken during their wedding. The words they uttered made every heart beat faster and every soul dance.
Daniel was looking at Parisa with such love and tenderness that every woman in the room wished to be her while her eyes showed loyalty, respect and trust which every wife should have. I saw the world being unified in front of me. I wish everyone on earth can find such peace, love and unity in their lives.
Unexpectedly and quietly tears burst into my eyes and I cried for no reason. I was wondering all this time what was it that made me cry. I don't know. The only thing I know is that last time it happened at my grandpa's funeral.
"Spolocne sa zaoberajte uslachtilymi tuzbami a vzletnymi predstavami. Nech medzi vami niet ziadnych tajomstiev. Svoj domov premente na pristav pokoja a odpocinku. Budte pohostinni a majte dvere domu otvorene tvaram priatelov a cudzincov. Privitajte kazdeho hosta so ziariacou laskavostou a nech kazdy citi, ze je to jeho vlastny domov."
'Abdu'l-Baha
Thursday, 13 November 2008
NEWS
Since I returned to Slovakia in September there are a few habits that I decide to adopt. You know, new start...
1. regular meals,
2. regular sleep (wake up early, sleep early, the best for me is 07.00 - 23,00),
3. regular exercise (especially morning walks),
4. regular praying and reading the Holy Writings,
5. learning to play on the guitar,
6. learning a new language (few options: german, arabic, hindi or improving french),
7. get involved in many baha'i activities,
8. start my very own English Club,
9. observing all the baha'i laws, minimum watching tv/movies
About the first four: It went very well the first month and a half, then it started to be too cold and dark for morning walks, I stopped eating regularly when I was ill for a few days, similar with sleeping. I searched for reasons and found that all started when I stopped praying enough. Every day less and less until it wasn't easy to begin anymore.
All the other goals followed the decline. I stopped practicing on the guitar and watched a lot of movies, wasting time. I stayed involved in the baha'i activities and the English club continued but I didn't really feel committed to it that much.
(I actually never got to learning the language because I don't have time.)
Luckily the laws are not hard to observe so that went well.
Now I'm back to the habits. Trying to build them again and better. But it made me think firstly why is it that when you gain that spiritual upliftment (usually from being abroad serving, or on pilgrimage or a baha'i course) it never stays long enough. In my case it usually ceases after one or two months. And secondly what is it that made me so happy and content in India?
(The following realizations are nothing new. Don't be disappointed.)
Why the spiritual upliftment never stays?
Most of the population cannot be occupied with spiritual activities all the time. We need to earn some money too. And the materialistic world can consume us if we don't keep watch over our spiritual nourishment. And usually we cease to be alert in the course of time and join the tide of waking up - eating - going to work/school - eating - watching tv - reading - sleeping - waking up...
What is it that made me so happy in India?
Strength produces strength and weakness produces weakness. Everyone has some goals, everyone dreams of being the best of himself, everyone wants to achieve success and approval. We are the only ones who can make our dreams come true. If we keep a picture of our ideal self but never get any closer to being it we are day by day failing ourselves, not keeping promises to ourselves and in the end we stop believing in the ideal us. On the other hand if we just keep one promise that we made to ourselves it will confer upon us so much strength that more kept promises will follow. (For example I often say I will wake up at 7am the next day but I seldom do. Then, when I do I feel happy all day.) Thus we become satisfied inwardly and it will also be expressed outwardly.
In India I was my ideal self. Although there was a lot to improve, to work on, I felt that I am doing great progress every single day, never hesitating, always marching onward.
It is not hard in reality, only our complicated minds make it look hard. If we just thought less and acted more the world would be a happier place. The beginning is easy, just think of a promise that you often make to yourself but never keep and now keep it.
1. regular meals,
2. regular sleep (wake up early, sleep early, the best for me is 07.00 - 23,00),
3. regular exercise (especially morning walks),
4. regular praying and reading the Holy Writings,
5. learning to play on the guitar,
6. learning a new language (few options: german, arabic, hindi or improving french),
7. get involved in many baha'i activities,
8. start my very own English Club,
9. observing all the baha'i laws, minimum watching tv/movies
About the first four: It went very well the first month and a half, then it started to be too cold and dark for morning walks, I stopped eating regularly when I was ill for a few days, similar with sleeping. I searched for reasons and found that all started when I stopped praying enough. Every day less and less until it wasn't easy to begin anymore.
All the other goals followed the decline. I stopped practicing on the guitar and watched a lot of movies, wasting time. I stayed involved in the baha'i activities and the English club continued but I didn't really feel committed to it that much.
(I actually never got to learning the language because I don't have time.)
Luckily the laws are not hard to observe so that went well.
Now I'm back to the habits. Trying to build them again and better. But it made me think firstly why is it that when you gain that spiritual upliftment (usually from being abroad serving, or on pilgrimage or a baha'i course) it never stays long enough. In my case it usually ceases after one or two months. And secondly what is it that made me so happy and content in India?
(The following realizations are nothing new. Don't be disappointed.)
Why the spiritual upliftment never stays?
Most of the population cannot be occupied with spiritual activities all the time. We need to earn some money too. And the materialistic world can consume us if we don't keep watch over our spiritual nourishment. And usually we cease to be alert in the course of time and join the tide of waking up - eating - going to work/school - eating - watching tv - reading - sleeping - waking up...
What is it that made me so happy in India?
Strength produces strength and weakness produces weakness. Everyone has some goals, everyone dreams of being the best of himself, everyone wants to achieve success and approval. We are the only ones who can make our dreams come true. If we keep a picture of our ideal self but never get any closer to being it we are day by day failing ourselves, not keeping promises to ourselves and in the end we stop believing in the ideal us. On the other hand if we just keep one promise that we made to ourselves it will confer upon us so much strength that more kept promises will follow. (For example I often say I will wake up at 7am the next day but I seldom do. Then, when I do I feel happy all day.) Thus we become satisfied inwardly and it will also be expressed outwardly.
In India I was my ideal self. Although there was a lot to improve, to work on, I felt that I am doing great progress every single day, never hesitating, always marching onward.
It is not hard in reality, only our complicated minds make it look hard. If we just thought less and acted more the world would be a happier place. The beginning is easy, just think of a promise that you often make to yourself but never keep and now keep it.
medicine
What does a doctor need? (comment if you think of something more)
great perseverance
courage
scientific mind
patience
kindness (mainly for patients)
thirst after knowlegde
willingness to sacrifice his youth (meaning fun and parties)
true motivation
What do I have?
perseverance: in progress
courage: yes
scientific mind: yes (to a great extent influences personal relationships)
patience: minimum but progressing
kindness: minimum but working on it
thirst after knowlegde: enormous
willingness to sacrifice youth: making compromises
true motivation: yes
Motivation
The process dates back to when my granpa was discovered to have brain tumour. He went to hospital and six month later died. I wasn't able to be with him very often but the times spent by his bed are unforgettable. He held my hand, kept looking at the ceiling, half-smiling, and made me wonder what he is seeing there. I thought he is seeing heaven and feeling pain, that's how it looked. As though he was stuck somewhere in the middle.
One year later I started having dreams which made me think of going to study medicine. I thought about it every day for two weeks and then I gathered that I have some important prerequisites for being a doctor.
I made it to the university but haven't passed a single semester yet. My friend is calling me a surgeon already and I'm writing a list of all my relatives and friends who would like to be treated by me once they need it. Trying to get through anatomy and latin right now, studying almost every day, I am still not able to measure the blood pressure. Yet planning to do my postgraduate course abroad while I may not even pass the undergraduate.
I just love being busy.
Now I'll get back to the bones.
Au revoir!
great perseverance
courage
scientific mind
patience
kindness (mainly for patients)
thirst after knowlegde
willingness to sacrifice his youth (meaning fun and parties)
true motivation
What do I have?
perseverance: in progress
courage: yes
scientific mind: yes (to a great extent influences personal relationships)
patience: minimum but progressing
kindness: minimum but working on it
thirst after knowlegde: enormous
willingness to sacrifice youth: making compromises
true motivation: yes
Motivation
The process dates back to when my granpa was discovered to have brain tumour. He went to hospital and six month later died. I wasn't able to be with him very often but the times spent by his bed are unforgettable. He held my hand, kept looking at the ceiling, half-smiling, and made me wonder what he is seeing there. I thought he is seeing heaven and feeling pain, that's how it looked. As though he was stuck somewhere in the middle.
One year later I started having dreams which made me think of going to study medicine. I thought about it every day for two weeks and then I gathered that I have some important prerequisites for being a doctor.
I made it to the university but haven't passed a single semester yet. My friend is calling me a surgeon already and I'm writing a list of all my relatives and friends who would like to be treated by me once they need it. Trying to get through anatomy and latin right now, studying almost every day, I am still not able to measure the blood pressure. Yet planning to do my postgraduate course abroad while I may not even pass the undergraduate.
I just love being busy.
Now I'll get back to the bones.
Au revoir!
Monday, 15 September 2008
Slovensky raj/Slovak Paradise
Me and Khan were supposed to leave on Thursday very early morning as to avoid the crowds on the train but Khan felt too tired to wake up so we travelled during the day. 5 hours on the train and then half an hour on the bus until we reached the bottom of Slovensky raj (read raay). So far so good. Since it was about five and we still had time and energy we went to have a look around, we walked up the gap Sucha Bela for about 40 mins and then back. We cooked some dinner and went to bed at 8pm as there was nothing else to do.The next day I intended to wake up at six but somehow I couldn`t and we only got up 3 hours later to leave at about 11am. We went up the gap Prielom Hornadu until Lanova lavka and from there through a forest straight to Klastorisko where we had lunch. There we realized we still have enough time to go the longer way and went through another gap called Maly Kysel and from there back down to Podlesok to the tent.
I have to explain what these gaps really are. It`s a brook or a small river surronded by rock and forest. Sometimes you walk on a small track road either on stones or the roots of the trees and sometimes you go jumping from stone to stone across the water. If there is no way to cross then there are ladders built. Sometimes it`s a little scary as there is nothing to hold on to and under the ladder is just water and rocks. Nothing can describe the beauty, not even the pictures. I highly recommend anyone traveling to Slovakia to go and see on their own.
The second day we went the other direction. First we walked for about an hour to get to Sokol and from there we went through a gap Velky Sokol (Big Falcon) to reach the top of the hill and have lunch. After which we started going down. It sounds less demanding than the first day but Velky Sokol is actually quite long with lots of ladders.
The plan was to sleep in Podlesok three nights but on Saturday it got suddenly so cold that we were not able to sleep properly, it was only 10-12 degrees during the day and a very cold and strong wind was blowing all night and day. So we decided it would be better if we travel at night. We packed the tent and took a bus from Podlesok to Poprad at 7.30pm. The earliest train was at 23.47 and when we wanted to buy the tickets the lady said that train is special and small and we can only ask if they have free couchettes when the train arrives. So no guarantee that we would get on the train, the next one coming at 1.40. Bus would take very long and Khan wanted to sleep well that night so we went to a hotel. And I watched a movie on the tv after a very long time. I don`t know why but somehow I was in a very good mood. Just like that. Maybe from the sudden unexpected comfort.
I wish I could show you all this beautiful place. Whenever any of my friends comes to visit me to Slovakia I`m gonna drag them there. Beware!
Wednesday, 10 September 2008
Vienna
On Tuesday, 09th September, we (me and Khan) set out on a one-day trip to Vienna, beautiful capital city of Austria.First we went to Belvedere, shown on the first two pictures.
This is Parliament.
The big building with two towers might be a church, I don`t know, we were just passing.
The last many pictures are all from Schonbrun, my favorite place in Vienna. Schonbrun is a summer palace of the Habsburgs which is surrounded by a huge and very well kept park.
I must add that we have seen more places, like Hofburg, some museums, Stephansdom, Karls platz but the pictures are not good and some are rather boring. Most of the places are very close to each other so we were basically just walking all day, seeing some buildings as we went and still I am not sure if I am calling the sites by their real names.
It was a beautiful day, sunny and peaceful.
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